The Pursuit of Happiness

I did not intend for my next post to be about happiness since my last post was about the hedonic treadmill and indirectly the pursuit of happiness through material possessions. However, as I have been spending time developing the structure for my upcoming posts on the mechanics of investing, my mind has continued to drift back to the “personal” side of personal finance. Specifically, I keep thinking about the future and being financially independent. 

As I continue to grapple with these questions, I sometimes hear the little voice in my head reminding me that the journey is more important than the destination and that tomorrow is not guaranteed. The presence of this little voice (and maybe a bit of living through a pandemic) causes me to constantly re-evaluate my life and priorities. In doing so, I begin to ask the same questions above but in a slightly different manner.

• What do I want the journey to financial independence look like?

• What do I want to do now that I have always wanted to do?

• How do I choose to spend my time now? 

• What things do I enjoy and what makes me happy?

• What is my why?

I can’t help but think I am not alone in struggling to answer these questions. For this reason, I wanted to write a post today about my continued pursuit of happiness and finding my why. For anyone on the journey to financial independence, the answers to these questions are arguably the most important part. Achieving financial independence without knowing your why, is simply reaching the summit of a mountain with no plan for the descent. 

Finding Your Purpose:

“Life passes most people by while they’re making grand plans for it.” – George Jung

Ever since I heard this quote, it has stuck with me. Aside from the truth inherent in the words themselves, this quote resonates with me because I am a habitual planner. My brain is hard-wired in such a way that I thrive off of structure, planning, and setting goals which is a blessing and a curse. It is a blessing in that I have always been goal driven and when I set a goal I tend to either meet the goal or at least make tangible progress toward the goal. It is a curse because if I am not careful, I can easily forget to live in the now because I am always planning for what is next. What is the next goal? What is the next step? What is the next action? When I get in this mode, that little voice will eventually creep back in and quickly remind me of my morality. It is during these moments that I focus on finding my current purpose rather than my future purpose. I focus on what makes me happy now rather than what will make me happy in the future. I focus on the here and now. 

The Three Kinder Questions:

George Kinder is considered by many to be the father of the life planning movement. He was an Ivy League educated economist who founded the Kinder Institute of Life Planning. He has written several books including The Seven Stages of Money Maturity. George Kinder developed a series of three questions intended to bridge the gap between life and money by allowing one to better understand their life goals and values. These questions often come up in the FIRE community as you search for your why in life. I personally stumbled upon these questions on the Physician Philosopher blog when I was discovering financial independence and the FIRE movement and reading anything and everything I could get my hands on. 

Question 1: The Freedom to Pursue Your Dreams

I want you to imagine that you are financially secure, that you have enough money to take care of your needs, now and in the future. The question is, how would you live your life? What would you do with the money? Would you change anything? Let yourself go. Don’t hold back on your dreams. Describe a life that is complete, that is richly yours.

On the surface, this question may seem similar to the “What would you do if you won the lottery?” question. In a sense, it is. However, the question is intended to be a much deeper thought exercise aimed at better understanding your purpose or your why.

I think most people including myself evaluate this question first in the context of their job. Would you choose to keep working in your current job or would you quit? A lot of people would quit their job if money was no longer a concern. However, then what? How would you spend your time? Would you continue to work but in a different capacity? Would you create that business that you have always wanted to but never had the time to pursue? Would you spend your time pursuing a passion project or giving your time to help those in need. Maybe you would travel the world, learn a new skill, or become more well read. In reality, most people probably would want to do some combination of all of these things and you would now have the time to do so if you chose.

The secret to the first question is really taking the time to challenge yourself to think long term. What are your dreams? What are your goals? What do you really want to accomplish with your time on earth? Without a job and without a set schedule, you are the artist and your life is a blank canvass. What would you choose to paint?

Question 2: The Introduction of Father Time

This time, you visit your doctor who tells you that you have five to ten years left to live. The good part is that you won’t ever feel sick. The bad news is that you will have no notice of the moment of your death. What will you do in the time you have remaining to live? Will you change your life, and how will you do it?

This question is similar to the first question but it introduces the element of time and the fact that it is finite. A lot of people, including myself, spend a lot of time actively planning for the future. You likely are a planner yourself in at least some capacity if you are taking the time to read a financial independence blog. The unfortunate reality is that our time on earth is not boundless and the future is not guaranteed. What if in all your planning for the future you discovered that it in fact does not exist.  What if your time was limited? What would you do? What would you change? 

For most people, this is the quintessential “bucket list” question. When faced with this question, I would prioritize maximizing time with family, friends, and loved ones. I would prioritize travel and experiences. I would pursue creative passions and focus on maximizing my time left on earth. I would imagine your responses may be similar. This question gets beneath the superficial question of how you would spend your time now that time is of the essence. What makes you truly happy? What is your why?

Question 3: Regrets

This time, your doctor shocks you with the news that you have only one day left to live. Notice what feelings arise as you confront your very real mortality. Ask yourself: What dreams will be left unfulfilled? What do I wish I had finished or had been? What do I wish I had done?  Did I miss anything?

This question makes you evaluate your life through a completely different lens. What regrets would you have if you had only one day left to live? Would you have wished you had worked more or made more money? Would you have wish you had spent more time pursuing material wealth? Probably not. Most people will have wished they spent more time investing in family, relationships, and experiences because these are where we often derive true happiness. What regrets would you have?

Application To Your Life

The questions above can have a profound impact if you spend the time to evaluate your own life to better understand your values and what drives your happiness. However, I also think the questions are broad enough that it can sometimes be difficult to synthesize it down to have a tangible impact on your daily life. For me, this is where The 10 Things Exercise comes in.

The 10 Things Exercise

One of the many books I have read during my journey to financial independence was the book Playing with Fire by Scott Rieckens. The book details his and his wife’s discovery and pursuit of financial independence. Scott and his wife, Taylor, were very much HENRYs in their own right. In the book, Scott does a good job of covering the fundamentals of the FIRE movement and the challenges (mostly psychological) that can come with the pursuit of financial independence. There is one part of the book in particular, The 10 Things Exercise, that that has stuck with me long after I finished reading the book.

Unlike the Three Kinder Questions, the 10 Things Exercise is a much simpler thought exercise with just as much, if not more, value. It simply goes like this…

Make a list of the 10 things that make you most enjoy doing on a weekly basis. If you have a partner of significant other, have them make a list as well. If you can only come up with 5 – 7 things, that is fine. The point here is to make a list of things that bring you joy and make you happy on a weekly basis.

Once you make your list, take a step back and review. Compare it to your partner or significant other’s list. What do you notice? If you are like me, you begin to notice that many things on the list do not cost a whole lot of money. In fact, many things on the list, cost no money at all. 

For me, this exercise had an impact on why life. I revisit my list often in an effort to do more of the things that I enjoy on a weekly basis. In fact, I keep the my list taped to my mirror so that I see if first thing each morning. It has become a key part of my pursuit of financial independence as well as my pursuit of happiness.

Bringing It All Together

We all have a finite amount of time on earth. HENRYs tend to spend a lot of time earning money, spending money, and the repeating the cycle. However, this cycle often does not create happiness. In fact, it is often the opposite. You become a wage slave. You do not own your time. Ask yourself these questions again.

• What do you really want to be doing with your time? 

• What do you enjoy doing? 

• What makes you happy? 

• What do you want to accomplish in life? 

• What are your goals and ambitions?

• What is your why? 

As I have continued to search for answers to these questions, I have come to realize that I want to spend my time on what I enjoy doing. I want to spend my time in the pursuit of happiness today as well as in the future. For this reason, I try to focus on spending as much time as possible doing things that I enjoy and that make me happy now. I try to pursue the things I have always wanted to do now rather than waiting until the tomorrow that may never come. Despite this, I still know that time is limited. For this reason, I have chosen to pursue financial independence so that I can take back more of my time. You can do the same. You just have to make the choice…

– Regards

Henry

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Henry’s Personal Highlight:

As I said at the beginning, I intended for my next post to begin diving into the mechanics of investing, but I just couldn’t shake the need to write about this topic. I think part of it stems from my continued journey to financial independence and the importance I am placing on finding “my why” prior to actually becoming FI. I also think part of it stems from my continued discussions with friends and family about time and more importantly the pursuit of happiness. 

So many people I know spend so much time doing things that they do not actually enjoy. Maybe they have a passion project they want to pursue. Maybe they want to spend more time learning a new skill or craft. Maybe they want to travel more or experience new things. Despite the desire to do all of these things, many do not. As I have learned about financial independence and subsequently read about the journeys of those pursuing FI or that have achieved FI, I have begun to look at life differently. I try to focus more on the things that make me happy today. I try to focus on pursuing that passion project, new skill, or new experience today. I also have come to the realization that if something is important enough to me, I can find the time. I can make it happen. It simply has to be a priority for me and I have to be willing to take the first step. The rest will fall into place.

For those curious, my Top 10 List is below. There have been a few slight changes since I originally created the list, but for the most part, it remains the same. 

Henry’s Top 10 List:

1. Traveling and doing things outside the normal/weekly routine with my family
2. Being with my kids when they are experiencing new things
3. Date nights with my wife
4. Being creative and doing creative things
5. Reading and learning new skills
6. Meals with friends and family
7. Running and competitive sports
8. Saturday night movie nights with my family
9. Sunsets on the beach with a glass of wine or craft beer
10. Drinking coffee on a Saturday morning and blogging